Oct. 15th, 2010

fuzzygoth: (Fuzzygoth - sleepy)
I've been feeling a bit down the last few week's the day job is causing
me stress due my worry I can't deliver what they need at the pace they
require due the the monumental ineptitude of the people who orgininally
wrote the code, that makes it a long, slow and laborious process to do
anything the fact I've been living out of bags for the last 2 months has
done nothing to improve my mood. Although; the house is ready to move
into and now i actually have time to think about a few things.

House
Has it worth it for me decorating the new house how I want it? I could
have moved into a pre-fab 2 bedroom flat with integral garage with its
magnolia walls and not been allowed to do anything to it. I've lived in
more of these than I'd care to count. It has been said though "you make
a home, by making it your own", and that's what I can do here. And there
are lots of wee tweaks that have been done to the house that make it
even more suitable and desirable. So i think it will be worth it even
though right now its hard to see due to being so worn down by it all. On
the upside, i've learned new skills and have an idea of how hard it can
be decorating a whole house (handy knowleadge for when i finally buy
somewhere).

Work
Well, i am stuggling through the code and the database and each day the
coder in me die's a little bit more. I have weekly supervision where they
ask me why we aren't making the sort of progress they expect, if G the
guy who built it was working on it he'd be rattling changes out left right
and centre *yadda* *yadda* and I explain that between constant distractions,
the excessive support requests because they guy who's built it has given
them what they want rather than what they need no one can do anything except
in the hacky round about fashion of impersonating a user. So this kills my
motivation a little more every week. I am a bit anal retentive when it comes
to certian things my desk has to be clean and everything sits at right angles
I find it hard to concentrate in a messy workspace, and i am so sick of
dealing with code left by fucking full on fuckwit monkey boys who are to
sodding lazy to build things properly or clearly. I should have taken the
Norton job, it might not have been a better job and the people might have
been more annoying but at least the single central most important part of
my job would have been built to my standards not someone elses. Unless things
change dramatically I can't see me staying here. I'll struggle on as long
as I can but I think some alternitive plans might be in order. I might look
into the concept of homeworking if i decide kids isn't for me, there is my
ex-bosses mate who does .Net and some work from php companies that might be
worth a look. Also have some other idea's to move away from programming but
it means actually applying myself to learn new skills.

Finance
Well, hopefully by next month I will be debt free again, Except for student
loans and the little bit I owe for decorating the house. I think the run up
to the new year is going to have to be rather quiet to allow me to build up
some reserves and quickly get what little I still owe paid off and cancel
some of the un-needed expenses. Ah the problems of live a hectic social life.

Health, Diet and all that nonsense
Well, my diet has been uttely shafted by moving, not that I am on a specific
diet i just mean in general. working 9am-5pm and then heading to the house
to decorate 5pm-10pm each night hasn't left much room for cooking. I've mostly
been subsisting on takeaways (not good) though the last 4 nights have been
rissotto, fajitta's and Morrocan Chicken with cous cous so thats a good start
and I have left overs for lunch with a student mega-salad :) the gym has also
suffered, and that will be one of the first things that will have to change.
I am considering changing my working hours from 9-5 to 10-6 so I can have
daylight in the morning moving forward or maybe go to the gym in the morning
and have less traffic to and from work. I have my gym weights and exersise
routines so just have to get wired in. I am hoping that the current miasma of
meh and lack of motivation as well as the lack of energy is just down to bad
diet, lack of exersise and too much stress.

Social Life
My social life has been cut back to the bare minimum recently due to lack of
time, I've barely been out in sheffield at all due to lack of time, the rest
of this month (and possibly next month) i'll not be going anywhere due to lack
of money. Hopefully though, soon I'll be able to start having a social life
again. Still single and I think that it will probabaly stay that way for the
forseeable future, life is too crazy at the moment and I am spread too far over
the country at the moment for it to be practical or desirable, besides which I
need to get back to being Fuzzy rather than this ball of frustration, rage and
stress that I seem to be at the moment.

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December 2011

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